Monster

Skillet had a good thing going when they released that song. I really want to see them live.

Thankfully I am finding more individuals like myself who wrestle with demons (or at least that's what I am telling myself) and enjoy loud and heavy music.

I must confess that I feel like a monster...

Being an adult sucks.

Commander-in-Chief, please.

The title has nothing to do with this post. In fact, I haven't blogged in so long I was contemplating getting rid of my mobile app altogether.

Well, contemplate no more! I am making a pointless entry to prove to myself that blogging IS, in fact, still a valid option for self-expression. Much in the same way as coloring in a coloring book. Except my coloring book LIED TO ME. Yes, it's crazy, I know; but it's true. "How does this travesty occur?" one may ask. To which I reply "LET ME TELL YOU!"

There is a picture of Ariel (The Little Mermaid) and Prince Eric sharing a "moonlight moment."

B* I am pretty sure she never wore a necklace and she damn well never wore a pink dress when they were out on the lagoon! Disney artists need to be getting their minds right before they publish that garbage. It's not even true!! What the hell is the world coming to when I can't even have a "stori"cally accurate coloring experience?!

Theeeese people piss me off.

/end rant

Deja Vu.

It's been awhile since I have been this upset... A good few months, at least. It's amazing what a little bit of insanity will do to a person. (And I'm talking Albert Einstein position on insanity... Doing the same things over and over, expecting different results.) I'm tired of feeling this way... And it's not even me being the majority of the insanity this time! That's the messed up part.

Ugh! Just someone explain to me why the most worthless people are the ones that people cleave to... And don't give me any lines about having hope in humanity and giving people a leg up out a helping hand... It's bull sh* and if you knew the specifics of my situation you wouldn't wonder why.

#PerksofMyJob

I got to go to Baltimore. At least one full day of paid vacation, after I put in some elbow grease tonight. You know what I'm excited about? Going to see Edgar Allan Poe's grave.

Yes, seriously.

I am excited about going to see a concrete (limestone? marble? it's a mystery...) memorial to a man I've never known; a man whose work I have read; a man who, oddly enough, is played really well by John Cusack.

Also on the list of potentials are.... the World Trade Center, Inner Harbor, and pretty much anything cityscape wise I can see on the way.


Do I want to take a cab? No, not really... considering EAP's grave and the WTC are a mile apart.




I am regretting bringing my Chucks instead of my Aasics, though. Just saying.
*squee!!

Raum zum Atmen

It's been a good long while, I am glad to be back. I have had an opportunity to gain some "raum zum atmen," or breathing room. Clarity. Organization.

It's been one helluva ride, that's a fact.

I will explain more later on... It's too early to cut into deep stuff right now. Plus, I need to save my strength. Hell has broken loose on the dorm and I don't know how to reign it in yet.

Reality Check: Boredom. Check.

I have come to the conclusion that I am exceptionally bored with my reality. Long ago, I would say that "When I'm bored, I break things." Case in point, my social and romantic life.

I feel like there are many factors associated with this boredom, primarily because of the cold weather and the women I would choose to surround myself with are either A) across the country, B) over half an hour away, C) working until late at night, or D) homebodies busy with their own lives.

So what am I doing to circumvent these challenges?

A) I talk to my friends around the country on a fairly regular basis. Via text, via Facebook... etc.
B) I teach in the town where some of my friends live. I have begun to spend real time with them, and I am currently staying with one of these wonderful women for a week to help her clean her home to get ready for a baby shower this weekend. (Procrastination at its best; grammar, not so much.) I also plan to go to Indianapolis to visit another friend at the end of the month.
C) I have begun to go on walks and go to the gym with my friends in-town who work until late at night. I actually have plans next week to do Zumba with one of my teacher friends, and my baker friend. It will be phenomenal.
D) Oh wait, that's me... Refer to points A-C.

I spend so much time trying to work within the system I have created for myself that I am imploding. Or exploding, depending on who is around and what is going on.

I seek attention when I should be entertaining myself. I understand this is not a positive thing, and the entertainment measures have already been identified. My goal for this year was to do at least two things per week for myself, and I have been sorely lacking. Now's the time for me to actually DO this.

And by this, I mean fix my life. But right this second, I'm going to publish this so I don't forget. :)

Throwbacks: Call me a realist, but the stars are dead to me.

I wondered a little wonder this afternoon: Does wishing on a star count if we know the star we are wishing on is just an image of a star that died a long time ago?

Are wishes really valid then?

Can lingering images grant the thoughtful longings of romantics, or are we better off wishing into the blackness — the space between the stars — so that maybe, one day, when the light of those stars reaches Earth our wish will come true for someone else?

Would that have worked for peace in the Middle East? If I ever see Jesus, maybe I’ll ask.

They glint, and they flicker like laughter — they must be laughing at the absurdity of human emotion, of life’s tribulations.

We are so frail compared to them, aren’t we? Our lives are measured in years; theirs, in eons. The stars are millions of light years away, and ancient. But they’re already dead by the time we see them — maybe that’s our strength:

Compared to the dead, glittering stars, Humanity seems strong.

At least we can see the living while they live, and the dead when they die. Stars don’t get a choice. Why DO we find such faith and beauty within the dead?

Are shooting stars really shooting at all, or have they just been shot? It seems like they fall more to me —

in a clean, quick arc across the sky.

Falling. Dead.

***

Was going through Facebook notes and found this... it still holds true. So I wanted to share it. Again.

Lint, Lent, Lended... Fail.

So, I haven't started The Love Dare. I'm only slightly frustrated with myself about this.

I did, however, level up some of my professions on World of Warcraft and expand my experiential horizons with Boyfriend. I am not frustrated with myself about this at all.

I have felt extremely successful after trying a new technique with my students, and I am hoping that putting this technique into practice now will help me immensely when (if, but hopefully when) I come back to teach in the Fall.

Bright side, the average score on this week's multiple choice portion of the exam was WAY above 40%! I feel accomplished in that. I haven't started on the essay portion yet, but I'm holding onto some real hope for being impressed.

It's all about finding that hook, you know?


And as conflicted as I am about the upcoming Spring Break, I am so ready for St Patrick's Day that it's not even remotely entertaining. Dominick bought me a cute pair of over-the-knee socks, hopefully it will be warm enough to wear them!

Snow-covered confession.

I realized this evening, after about a day's worth of snowfall, that I had the childhood that resulted in a 25 year old woman not knowing how to properly construct a snowman.

That being said, I am currently wading through an internal struggle between acting like a child and pouting, acting like a hot menstrual mess and sobbing, or acting like a Mighty Duck and dedicating myself to the game.

For the time being, I have chosen to wallow in self-pity and sit inside and pout. I will not cry over this. I will hide my embarrassment like every other God-fearing, bull-headed female I know and never. show. weakness.


... Actually, I'm hoping to teach myself and/or ask for help once my beautiful boyfriend and our awesome roommate are done making their snow dragon.

Yeah, the world has a sense of humor... and I'm usually the butt of the joke. Go figure.

Oklahoma

What have I done this week?

I had a come-to-college meeting with my students. I tried to make them understand that I am on their side. I also taught. And, I used a snippet from Eddie Izzard as an example of gross motor skills. Win for me.

I sat in on a class that I am most likely going to be teaching in the Fall. I made a friend, kindof, who happens to have previously been employed with MY previous employer... and said kindof-friend left for similar reasons as myself.

I voluntarily went on a road trip with my mom, grandma, and cousin to Ooooklahoma. Yes, approximately 6 hours in a vehicle with three of the most interestingly connected people I know. So, that's fun... If yesterday had a color code, it would have been orange. Today was yellow. Hopefully tomorrow will be green... My fingers are crossed for smooth sailing in the 6+ hour drive back to the homestead.

I am coming to realize that my "sh*ts given" filter goes on and off at the most interesting times. I am also wishing more and more that I could actually let the words bouncing around in my head fall out of my mouth. Bright side, I know how I want to live my life. Unfortunately, telling my family they frustrate the hell out of me isn't an option. At least not while I am several hundred miles away from the safety of my own home.

But as far as doing things for myself this week, I tried to communicate with my students, and I tried to communicate with mah bo'friend.

I also think I will be completing the Love Dare during the rest of the Lenten period, and on through Easter. I am doing this for myself and for my sunshine.

A Sigh of Relief, Followed Immediately by a Sigh of Disappointment

Followed shortly thereafter by a sharp exhale of determination.

Why the action phrases? Simple:

Relief: Friday was my last day working full-time. I got done with all of my reports, notes, and all but two e-mails by 5:20pm. I was supposed to clock out at 5:30. So, that's a win.

Disappointment: I graded exams on Saturday... the average score was 60.3%, with a high/low of 78/43. The students had their book, class lecture, a study guide, AND the front/back of a 3x5" note card. AND, they had the option of completing a 20-point extra credit assignment. No, I'm not going to make the test easy. Challenging, yes, but not "easy." It's a junior-level class... man up, you know?

Determination: Currently working to find additional resources for the students to read through, as well as some suggestions for note-taking and reviewing the textbook. I can't do everything for them, but I can try to make the class as interactive as possible.


On a lighter note, I'm continuing to relax and I am trying to get motivated to make a grocery list for tomorrow. Obligations never cease, it seems. But at least I'm not at odds with my company anymore.


Forecast: Relaxation, followed by video games and a night of rest.

Expressionisms

I decided that I am going to start working on a themed photo 'blog-type deal. My initial ideas are as follows:

1. The Forgotten
2. Love
3.


(Side note, LOL @ the Superbowl power outage)

I find the outage so funny, in fact, that I am moving on to my regularly scheduled time-wasting. Happy Sunday!

Forgive me, Father...

... for it has been 8 days since my last 'blog.

Rats. Only 8? :-/

Still, that's 8 days of struggles, challenges, small successes, and personal victories. Let me illustrate:

Struggles:
  - Getting up in the morning and going to work. Yeah, BIG trial there, let me tell you. Every day until February 8th, anyway! I cannot wait to get out of that place... Found out bright and early Monday morning that my supervisor - the only person in that joint that I felt really supported me and helped me focus on the good works that needed to be done, the only person that gave a rat's butt when my consumer died unexpectedly and it messed me up all kinds of crazy - was no longer with the company. Needless to say, I have been having serious feelings of hostility toward the rest of the management team. I am not comfortable sitting in the same room as my department head. I don't get "not comfortable" when sitting in the midst of someone who thinks their poo doesn't smell. This is very out of character for me, even though I have my bouts of passive aggression.
  - Playing by the rules. I constantly find myself skirting the line about these so-called "rules," and I have done that for the majority of my life (even though some might say that I live by the rules and without rules I would be more anxious than I already am). For example, at my previous job I broke several of the piddly don't-mean-crap-to-me rules. Yes, I messed up a few times because of that... but the bottom line is, my production didn't noticeably suffer. I still came to work, got my work done, and went home. I even got promoted a few times. Because playing by the rules would have made me go nutso long before it actually happened. Seriously. I'm not going to say anything about the job I currently have, but suffice to say I still get my work done and frankly I feel like I do a better job when I'm not sitting at a desk in front of a phone that sometimes just won't. stop. ringing.

Challenges:
  - Continuing to look at life positively. I have my moments of clarity, to be sure -- in fact, I was talking with one of my clients yesterday and it kinda hit me how wrong I have been in my life thus far. I used to tell everyone "I am where I am because I choose to be here." Boy, was I wrong... I am where I am because God wants me to be here. It's all part of the Plan. I grasped that a little when I entered this field, and I told all of my clients who were concerned about caseworker turnover that I didn't plan to leave unless something beyond my control indicated it was my time. I suppose, as the old adage goes, "the time is nigh." So thankfully, many of my clients have a strong faith presence... so this revelation makes sense to them, even though I have had at least three people break down in tears upon hearing news that I am leaving. Two of which have been diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, and one who is Bipolar. See? Challenging.
  - Maintaining an air of civility with supervision. I'm pissed. Anyone who talks to me for five minutes about my job will hear only a smidgeon of just how pissed I am, and why. My supe is dismissed, I try to take the next day off to recoup (legitimately, I told my temporary supe that I was feeling 'off' and wanted to take Tuesday off) and I TRY to play by the rules and I give them way more than the 2-hour minimum notice for calling in... and lo and behold, about 10am on Tuesday my temporary supe calls and tells me that once someone puts in their notice, all absences have to be approved. This, of course, is something I have NEVER heard of. To be clear, one of my teammates NO CALL/NO SHOWED FOR TWO DAYS AND A WEEKEND and my department head called him and ASKED him to come back. And I give 9 hours notice, a valid reason, and explain that I am planning to return on Wednesday. What's even better about the situation is that she tells me that I will need to come in to the office after I get done teaching my class. My inside voice said, "Lady I told you I was coming back on Wednesday. GTFO my back, mkay?" Bonus information for the day: My TEAM LEAD had no idea what this supe was talking about. My team lead has been with the company for OVER A YEAR. Just saying.

Small successes:
  - I finally got the picture I wanted of an old building and sign downtown. I love aged architecture.
  - I made it to work on Tuesday after teaching my class. I even pulled 3 1/2 service hours that afternoon -- scheduled on the fly!
  - I made it to work this morning, and made it to see all of the clients who didn't cancel. I even picked up a few hours scheduling on the fly, and attending to a pretty urgent situation.
  - I feel that the class I taught on Tuesday went very well.
  - Only one real argument with boyfriend this week (so far)! This is down from the previous tally, which has been disposed of due to the importance of forgiving and forgetting.

Personal victories:
  - Please see above
  - I had a smile in my voice yesterday afternoon when I talked with the above-mentioned temporary supe after she called to check on me to make sure I came back to work and started seeing clients. Similarly, I was very pleasant with said supe this afternoon when dealing with the "pretty urgent situation."

So. Long story short: I have been on a dang roller coaster this week. It's hard to remember to do things for myself. I guess taking Tuesday morning off was my attempt at doing something for myself... It must've worked, since I got a confidence boost from talking with the head of the Behavioral Sciences department and I got to re-work the class activity so that I could try to better engage my students. Second "self" thing would be to write this 'blog. It's important to remember lessons learned from the challenges, but it's also important to remind ourselves of the successes, victories, and positive impacts that we make. That I make. That will be forever made.

Nevermind, I don't need forgiveness... I need to survive the next 7 business days so I can start wholeheartedly getting back to ME.

The Me List

I was talking to one of my consumer's today about "alone time" -- actually, it morphed from a decision about "alone time" into a discussion about "Monica time" (no, Monica is not the consumer's real name, but let's go with it). Pretty much, the conversation focused on what Monica wanted to do with her time so that she can decrease stress levels and retain both emotional and mental health stability.

That got me thinking -- I made this promise to myself, I fully intend to follow through... but what am I really going to be doing for ME? I can justify making all sorts of decisions based on how they directly or indirectly benefit me, that's the beauty of being human. But, I was also talking to mumsie this evening after I got off work and actually listed a few things that I have been wanting to do for SO LONG it's not even funny... that I might actually have the chance to do in the near future. I was also talking to her earlier in the day about the fact that I try to be superhuman and address many different obligations at once. I get overwhelmed, and often-times I do it to myself. I realize this, I accept it, and I will probably continue to do it. Nonetheless, it is because I realize and accept this about myself that a narrowing of my goal to do things for myself this year is to only tackle one project at a time.

Tonight, it happens to be laundry. That's my "me" activity, because I am tired of feeling like I have to Boot Scoot around piles of clean and dirty laundry just so I can get to my bed. Yes, I am a slacker; go ahead and judge me.

Anyway, some additional goals I would like to accomplish in the near future are as follows:
- Updating my photography portfolio
- Enlarging and printing some of my more favored photo-works
- Completing the Pittsburgh and holiday sections of my scrapbook
- Re-hanging the wall art in the living room and game room
- Purchasing a membership to the YMCA and accompanying swimwear
- Showing Dominick my fiction and poetry collections

So those are some of my upcoming goals. I guess you could call it "clearing out some cobwebs." Or just "doing things I should have done years ago." Either way :)

Onward, to the laundry! *charge music*

Resigned

Put in my 3 week notice this afternoon. Waiting to meet a friend for a supper of gyros and amazing fries.

Started shrink wrapping windows last night. The toilet closet is warmer now.

Geared up to spend the long weekend relaxing, playing video games, and spending time with fam.

Taking out the trash

I realized a lot of my frustration this week has been tired to the ever-growing pile of garbage outside my back door. So, I took most of it out. The only parts i didn't get were the actual cans, and with having a hill for a front yard, I am okay with leaving them for now because frankly they are stupid awkward and I don't really feel like breaking my neck trying to roll them down to the street. Judge me if you want.

Bottom line, I feel a little better now. Hopefully this will help me swing back into being in an awesome mood, because this week has been really tough on my stress and anxiety levels.

Political Rant

For those of you who know me, you know that I support the legal purchase, concealment, and carrying of protection firearms.

For those of you who don't know me, I support the legal purchase, concealment, and carrying of protection firearms.

That being said, I took a lead from one of my college friends in e-mailing the state government regarding their inaction at protecting my right to support the legal purchase, concealment, and carrying of protection firearms. This is what I told them:

I support the legal purchase, concealment, and carrying of protection firearms. (Ha ha, just kidding. Copy/Paste humor.) But really...

-----

Thank you for taking the time to hear the concerns of the people you represent. I know your time is important and will make this fairly quick: The actions being taken against the 2nd Amendment are unacceptable. What is being purposed is unconstitutional and tramples on the right of Americans to own firearms. In fact, I would like to remind you of several court cases that you may or may not be familiar with:

1. United Stated v. Cruikshank (1875) - Court ruling said that “the Second Amendment… has no other effect than to restrict the powers of the national government.” The Court also went so far as to suggest that “for their protection in its enjoyment, the people must look to the States” for support. One might even be able to apply the 14th Amendment on the grounds that the Court said it “prohibits a State from depriving any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law.” And no, I don’t think it matters that this occurred during the Civil War era, and is entangled in the chaos of that time period. Who’s to say that a similar situation couldn’t arise from those who perceive themselves to be in power (i.e., a militia created out of martial law) against those striving to exercise their rights (i.e., law-abiding Americans)?

2. Presser v. Illinois (1886) - Court ruling determined that the States still had the right to regulate the militia, but that the citizens had no right to create their own or have weapons for semi-military purposes. Semi-automatic firearms that are properly acquired, stored, and utilized for self-defense are NOT being used for semi-military purposes. I fully support punishing those who break the law; however, I also fully believe that exercising such constraints on law-abiding citizens is grossly unjust and supports taking advantage of the taxpayers that voted you into office in the first place.

3. District of Columbia v. Heller (2008) - Court ruling determined that “The Second Amendment protects an individual right to possess a firearm unconnected with service in a militia, and to use that arm for traditionally lawful purposes, such as self defense within the home.” History shows that dangerous or unusual weapons were prohibited, and often times rightfully so. Additionally, if you want to get into specifics about the guns themselves, the Court also ruled that “the requirement that any lawful firearm in the home be disassembled or bound by a trigger lock makes it impossible for citizens to use arms for the core lawful purpose of self-defense and is hence unconstitutional.” Simply stated, to propose constraints on the weapons so that they are essentially useless in the time that they are really needed is ridiculous and completely counterintuitive to promoting the American people’s rights to protection.

Furthermore, the way this is being handled also unacceptable. To completely bypass Congress and implement these policies through Executive Orders is immoral and a slap in the face to the USA. As congressmen you should be infuriated that a President would belittle your part of Legislation and bypass you completely to get what he wants. This amendment is not just about hunting and sport but also protection from tyranny. Please remember that point I made earlier about our 14th Amendment rights to due process -- the checks and balances of this republic were established for a reason, so that no branch of the government would become overpowered and mutate America into a vile and oppressive state. To trample on your rights as legislators by taking executive action is a far cry from checks, balances, republicanism or the American ideals that so many have died to protect, and continue to do so daily.

I ask of you to do your sworn duty and protect the 2nd Amendment from these attacks and force the current administration to go through the due process of Legislation. Again thank you for your time, and God bless the USA.

---

So what have I done for myself so far this week? I taught. I wrote. I took decisive action to contact my legislation and voice my opinion. Aside from my stomach being angry with me, I feel like a little bit of the huge weight I've been carrying around has lifted. I encourage you to look up your State representation and give them the what-for on standing by while the President runs rampant with our entitlements.

Rebellion

7:30am - the tired, out-of-it, faux-insightful period for my brain; aka, the worst time to try to blog if I want to say anything with a coat of nice, politically correct sugar
This week has been a rebellion against my natural order. I need some mediation here so I can stop justifying slacking off.


5:10
I witnessed the act of a good Samaritan today. A lady purchased one of my clients' groceries while we were out at the store. Legitimately, didn't ask for anything in return, didn't really stop to accept thanks... just did it out of the kindness of her heart. Bless that woman.

Honestly, some of my faith in humanity has been restored. I didn't think that ever really happened, except for in commercials and maybe the occasional Lifetime movie... Apparently I was wrong. And for once, I'm totally okay with being wrong.

So, the point of the 'blog, the point of the resolution: What am I doing for myself this week? Well, funny story:

1. Zero poops given at work. I told my supe today that I was still probably going to put in my notice.
2. Found my insurance card so that (while I am employed) I can schedule my necessary doctor's appointments and such.
3. Scheduled a couple's massage for tomorrow afternoon.
4. Asked to leave work early since I had incidentally accumulated about 30 extra minutes of paid time over the course of the week.
5. Picked up the trash in the living room. My original plan for today was to either vacuum said living room or pick up the dining room. BUT, I decided to love myself and those around me and invite people over to play video games. Turns out, I will get to go watch my boyfriend and one of our other friends league bowl tonight. Unscheduled adventure? Yes, please! I may even venture so far as to attend a zombie apocalypse-themed house party tonight. Maybe.

Week 1 = Success.

But what am I doing for others?

I scheduled the couple's massage. I invited people over when I would have normally been totally fine with a quiet night at home.

Tuesday Lovin'

11:00am
I'll probably add to this later, but I wanted to just take a second to explain how awesome it is to do things out of love for another person. If nothing else, today I paid two overdue bills on my lunch break solely on the basis that I love my boyfriend and I know he appreciates not having to worry about those things.

Just saying. I need to go back to work now. I'm late. (But I don't care, because I feel like a little light inside me has turned back on!)


 7:05pm
(Several long, grueling, bitter-laughter-filled hours later...)

So I was thinking: This shouldn't be a "New Year's Resolution" thing. This should be a "New Sarah Resolution" thing. AND, what's more, I fully believe that doing something out of love for another person IS doing something for yourself. Or myself. Or whoever. This is largely because I know when I do something that I know benefits another person, I feel like I am on top of the world... and the person I do things for makes me feel good, too. For example (a throwback to good ol' IE)... I paid two bills today. I communicated with Dominick about the event to let him know what was going on, and we had really positive interaction throughout the day. I get home, I'm not even slightly mad that several people are at our house. Since I'm not mad, Dominick isn't mad. He even SAT next to me on the sofa while we finished supper. Do you know when the last time he VOLUNTEERED to sit next to ME on the sofa while we finished supper? Neither do I. Doesn't even matter that Knox is sitting on the other sofa and Gabe is playing Black Ops II; fact is, my boyfriend CHOSE to sit next to me. AND that absolutely made my night. AND, to top THAT off, I come in to talk to him while I am cooking dinner and he's taking the Love Language quiz like I asked him to do yesterday. (No judging on my caps, @ lEest I dUn tYpe Lyke diS! Ugh, that gave me a headache just TRYING to type that out...)

Seriously, I'm not trying to draw causation from correlation, but I feel like I had an active role in creating this evening.

On another note, I was thinking today about how to continue actively doing things to love myself. I found a very empowering meme earlier that says "Wake up. Kick ass. Repeat." I realized that's what I do try and accomplish every day, especially at work. I need to make sure to do it at home, too, but in a positive way. I considered coming home and putting on one of those clay spa masks... I still might. But I loved myself today by laughing at my frustration, telling a downtrodden coworker a funny story at my own expense, and making myself a delicious rum and juice drink to help get some of my meeting notes finished.

I still have some delicious rum drink left, so I think I'll start Household Task #2 of Tuesday Lovin': Laundry. I love clean clothes. And being able to walk in my room.

Selfishly Yours

I've been told I should be more selfish - that is, to think more of my own welfare before committing myself to tons of obligations and duties that I may not have the emotional or mental stamina to fulfill (all at once, like I'm prone to attempting).

So, I'm taking this advice. In the bastardized secondhand words of a Dutch lady who is friends with one of my best friends... "This year is about me."

At least, tonight is about me... tomorrow is another day, potentially with another story in mind.

That being said, I think I am going to try to resolve my New Year around doing something for me, Me, and only ME, at least twice per week. Even if that's spending extra time in the shower, or... putting one of those peely clay masks on when I get home from work on Friday. Old things, new things; tried-and-true and woo-hoo things. (Dr. Seuss would kick me right now.)

I'm back-tracking, but in the interest of completing 52 weeks and at least 104 "things," I feel like I should use this moment to reflect on the first week of my New Year: It was full of worry, and doubt, and all kinds of anxiety (the likes of which I hope NO ONE ever goes through, particularly with regards to a work environment... which I am happy to describe more about when I don't have a beautiful hunk of man waiting for me to come cuddle with him). I had a breakdown and a half. BUT, I did spend all day yesterday playing video games with my boyfriend and a couple of our friends, and today I finished Gary Chapman's book on The 5 Love Languages. I even took the quiz and everything.

Like I said, more when I don't have a beautiful hunk of man waiting for me to come cuddle with him... but this is a start. And I'm perfectly alright with starting things.